Reposts

On blog break...

I'm home for a couple of days and to celebrate my sister's graduation. She's graduating with her Industrial Engineering degree tomorrow or shall I say later tonight. We're also having our family reunion at the same time. I was reading my old blog the other day when I was visiting my aunt in Santa Barbara and had nothing to do. I thought why not post these entries again? We need some humor in our lives from time to time.

IF...

You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night. - I agree

You believe not all patients are annoying ~ some are unconscious. - I agree

Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.

You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock. - I agree, military time!

Almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually. - I agree, but I don't get to that point yet.

When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your shoes.

Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets. - haha..I agree..including bunch of pens, tape and alcohol wipes...

You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing you than he can.

You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver. - can't do that in our hospital!

You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and triggers "flash backs." - Nah but I love Grey's Anatomy, haha..

You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work. - LOL! I agree!

You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.

You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse. - Umm..I don't really swear, but when it's stressful it really makes me...so I'm kind of guilty of this.

Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you. - haha..like I said...

You can intubate your friends at parties.

You don't get excited about blood loss...unless it's your own. - uhuh..

You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."

You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe or an asepto.

You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help.

Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

Also drinking from a clean urinal is completely normal. - eww no..

Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank. - yeah..it's hard but it happens when it gets crazy busy!

When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer.

You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines.

You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner, break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.

You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

You've sworn you're going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.

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GREAT TRUTHS LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.*


**GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.


**GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. //lolz
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.*


**THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.*


**SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . having friends.
At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.

*Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget
the blessings that come each day.
**Have a wonderful day with many *smiles***


**Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short*
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Instructions for life

My nursing professor shared this to us back in nursing school. Thought I'd share...

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three R's:

Respect for self and others.
Responsibility for all your actions.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone.

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
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You Might Be a Nurse if...

- when using a public restroom, you wash your hands with soap for a full minute and turn off the faucets with your elbows.
- when you tell a man you meet for the first time you're a nurse, you're expected to laugh hysterically when he asks you for a sponge bath, as if it was the most original and wittiest thing you've ever heard.
- your favorite dream is the one where you leave a mess at a patient's bedside and tell a doctor to clean it up.
- men assume you must be great in bed because of the 9 billion porn movies about nurses.
- everyone, including complete strangers, tells you about each and every ache and pain they have.
- you want to put your foot through the TV screen every time you see a nurse on a soap opera doing nothing but talking on the phone and flirting with doctors.
- you can almost SEE the germs on doorknobs and telephones.
- you can watch the goriest movie and eat anything afterwards, even spaghetti with lots of tomato sauce.
- you use a plastic 30cc medicine cup for a shot glass.

You Know that You Are a Nurse When...

... discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal.
... you compliment a complete stranger on his veins.
... you find yourself betting on someone's alcohol level.
... you know that K-Y jelly is optional.
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Signs of getting old

- Chillin' at a lounge, happy hour or dinner party is more appealing than going clubbing.
(Yup, i used to enjoy clubbing when i just turned 21. Now, not anymore..esp that i dont really drink.)

- When you do go clubbing, you feel like a fish out of water.
(And wanna go home soon. Geez, I'd rather stay home seriously.)

- It takes 2 days to recuperate from a RARE night of drunkenness.
(Can't relate. First & last time i got drunk was when i turned 22 and that was all out of "peer pressure" cuz friends ordered me bunch of drinks and I had no idea that my tolerance was the lowest, so i ended up celebrating my bday inside the ladies' room..yuck! Never happened again.)

- Going out on a weekday is absolutely taboo, while going out three days in a row is impossible.
(True.)

- Hanging out at Barnes and Noble is totally awesome.
(the best description of me, especially i studied there (or Borders) most of the time during nursing school. Lol!)

- Your social calendar is replaced with weddings, kid birthdays, and family events.

- You clean out your closet and throw away midriffs, short shorts, and anything too tight.

- Granny panties become the most comfortable clothing in the world. (Lol, hindi naman..haha..)

- Afternoon naps become a requirement.

- The only way to keep up with what's cool these days is through your little sister, little brother, AND little nephew.

- Your high school music becomes labeled as old school slow jams.
(Hehehe...talk about Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls, 98 degrees, Westlife, Boyzone, Nsync, etc.)

- Rap starts sounding like noise and STAR 98.7 becomes one of the your top 3 radio stations.
(Sheez, it has always been a NOISE to me.)

- You start calling teenagers and college types "These kids..."
(Yeah..)

- Boys 25 years and below look cute, but only as boy toys.
(Hmm, don't know..)

- You ignore bad boys and suddenly get attracted to the "nice" ones.

- You become aware that muffin top is not just for breakfast.

- Eye creams, healthy eats, and exercise become A MUST, not a choice.
(Yup but good thing I can exercise at work, lots of workout at work! And forced diet sometimes.)

- You realize "Dammit! My mother IS right!"
(Ahuh..So true.)

- You recognize that quarterly life crisis does exist! SUCKS.
(Maybe, hope it's not so bad.)

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10 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:

- Did this list couple of years back. By now I highlighted the ones that I have accomplished already:

Instructions: Give 10 things you would want to do before you die. Steer clear from the sappy and redundant. Make it as funny (but honest) and as original as possible, No explanations needed:

In random order:

1. Graduate with my BS in Nursing next year and find a stable job.

2. Go back to Philippines for vacation. Visit friends and relatives once again. And yes, probably will have the chance to eat the cravings (santol, lansones, etc) I've been desiring forever, hehe...

3. Buy a house for my family.

4. Tour Europe and/or Asia.

5. Record a cd of my song compositions.

6. Put a music to all my songs.

7. Move out and live on my own.

8. Somewhere along the line will get married, have family and have at least 2 kids.

9. Be in a musical theater or band (again).

10. Live a simple life yet having privacy and space that I need.

-- marami pa ring di natutupad but I have my whole life ahead of me. there's no rushing here. :)

Have a good day/night people!